Monday, 7 April 2014

The See-saw of Certainty


By faith, Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, 25 choosing rather to share ill treatment with God’s people, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a time; 26 accounting the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he looked to the reward. 27 By faith, he left Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king; for he endured, as seeing him who is invisible. 28 By faith, he kept the Passover, and the sprinkling of the blood, that the destroyer of the firstborn should not touch them. 29 By faith, they passed through the Red Sea as on dry land. When the Egyptians tried to do so, they were swallowed up. 30 By faith, the walls of Jericho fell down, after they had been encircled for seven days. 31 By faith, Rahab the prostitute, didn’t perish with those who were disobedient, having received the spies in peace.  Hebrews 11:24-31

By faith, I believe that I am forgiven.

By faith, I believe that Jesus died for my sins.

By faith, I believe in the Holy Trinity, especially if I don't examine it in minute detail. When I did, I didn't find anything NOT to believe in God, as Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  Getting my head round God the Son took a bit more brain power, as in my mind they were separate…

By faith I believe that Jesus died for me.

By faith I believe the sun will rise tomorrow, even if hidden behind a shroud of midlands greyness.

Now you can classify me as a person of simple faith, certain, and secure - possibly even brainwashed by institutionalised religion….
Never doubting…

Wrong!

PLENTY of doubting.
For years I was traped, paralysed by inaction.
Unable to side with certainty, 
or to reject God completely.
There was only one place I could be.
Stuck on top of the Mount of Unknowing.
One one side happy faces, shiny with certainty,
managing mortgages, radiant with relationships,
socially secure.
On the other side ration voices of cynical certainty.
"If God was really God, why would he allow suffering?"
"There is no heaven and no hell, just here and now, so lets make the most of it!
"Who know? Who cares?"
Can certainty exist without doubt?
Can doubt exist without certainty?

When I look at myself, I see doubt and confusion.
When I look at God, I am certain.
Lift up your heads :)