Sunday, 4 January 2015

Botanical Identity

Who is this Daff?
You're having a laff
Do you think that I came down in the last shower?
She is that Facebooky virtual flower
Online hour after hour.
Fills my feed with irritating posts,
about chocolate, bellringing and the Holy Ghost.
She seems never to be home,
and is rarely alone.
Travels to some random sounding places
checks in from pretty uncool spaces
Drinks lattes without thinking
Maybe Latte is really code for gin...
She should stay home and learn to cook
I could lend her an excellent book.
Dust, polish and declutter
without a whinge or a mutter.
Probably her house is really immaculate
she just doesn't went to admit it
With antimacassars
and aspidiastras
and divine hostess skills.

She pretends to be very ploddy
but is probably advising some government body.
Her linked-in profile is pretty sparse,
as if she couldn't be arsed....
to mention her distinguished academic and employment history,
it all appears to be a mystery!

She always has some rip snorting riposte,
that she comments on my status.
Sometimes she causes a hiatus
or surprises me with a prayer
to show that she really does care.

she likes to post cartoons,
and political lampoons,
and very dodgy tunes
But who really is that Daff?
and does she always get the last laff?