Thursday, 12 March 2015

Mere Foolishness

Have you ever notice how quickly a day where everything is going so well,
can be instantly transformed by the sudden realisation 
that you have done something profoundly and simply stupid.  
I had one of those days today.  
My feelings of peace and contentment at small, 
even if insignificant achievements, 
were completely overshadowed by the sudden knowledge 
that I had done something foolish.  
A sin of omission no less.  
I had not intend to do anything wrong.  
However, a moments inattention and the error was made.

Fortunately there do not appear to be any repercussions to my aberration, 
for which I am profoundly grateful!  
I wish I was perfect, 
how I very wish I was!
But God did not make me that way.  
So I have to learn to manage my weaknesses, 
and each time I do something stupid I vow never to be so lax again.  
I check, and double check, and triple check,
and remember 
and everything is fine, 
until in a moment of weakness 
I do something silly again....
and so the cycle of casual carelessness continues.

I could name and shame my weakness, 
but in remaining undefined and anonymous
it has greater power, 
for it could fit all manner of sillinesses.  
Once identified it can become an object of scorn and excuse for superiority
"She did WHAT??? How could she have been so stupid"
"I always check. Why didn't she check?"
"Why didn't she do what I always do?"  
"Correct procedures, rigorously adhered to would have prevented this!"
"Do you know what could have happened?  That would have served her right!
"Yes, I bet she would never do that again!"

But devoid of identity, my foolishness remains elusive.  
You cannot insult it, 
for it may be the very thing YOU have done, 
and it may have had serious consequences.  
It is by not defining it, that it has the most value, 
and it hangs uneasily on your shoulder, 
nudging you to extra vigilance, 
and, most significantly of all, 
denying you the throne seated on the moral high ground.  

Maybe it was worth it after all....