Wednesday, 8 April 2015

Confessions of a reluctant decorator

Yes I am in cahoots with Magnolia Matt and Subdued Satinwood - though my heart yearns for non-drip gloss, and vinyl silk in radiant hues...

I spent the morning washing the walls and ceiling of the kitchen stairs and landing, whilst my husband continued the task begun 10 years ago of obscuring the obscene brown and white geometric patterned tiles with which a previous owner embellished the kitchen..  Normally our decorating falls into strictly demarked zones - I wash, and sandpaper and start the process going, my husband does the 'real work' of covering the walls and ceilings, then I do the woodwork.  Most of this stems from necessity.  Our ceilings are 8ft 6 high and I am not. In order to tackle a ceiling I would be constantly climbing up and down, whereas my husband can just stretch out an arm, waft a paintbrush and the task is completed.  On the other hand he isn't so keen on sitting on the floor painting the skirting boards!

The tide of magnolia has been slowly winning the battle in our house of many colours, but progress has been slow.  My husbands arms were aching, so as foundation coats needed to be applied I decided to lend a hand...working on the theory that anything too disastrous would be covered up by any subsequent layers of decoration.   With fear and trepidation my husband watched on as I started work.  Now I have no idea if I have ever painted with a roller before - if I have it is many years ago!

What did I learn -
1.   It's better to work consistently and keep your strokes running the same way.  This doesn't always work when a short person is attempting to paint a ceiling, and they end up painting round in circles...They also fail to reach the edge...cutting in can be done later by my charming assistant, Barry...

2.  Blue ceilings are quite difficult to cover over, far harder than yellow walls it would seem (I did warn you that my house was multicoloured...)
but you can motivate yourself by painting a profound and original message on the ceiling before you begin...

My daughter was suitably horrified when she spotted this particular piece of graffiti!

3.  Pick the roller up by the handle NOT THE ROLLER... Unless of course you want to paint your hand...
Yes, the voice of experience...

4.  If you notice the paintbrush gracefully descending into the paint tray, let it.  Even if you fall off the chair you will NOT stop this happening...
OK I didn't actually fall off the chair, just nearly...and the paintbrush still fell into the paint!

5.  Recruit an assistant for the tricky bits you can't reach - note the erratic painting from above each chair positioning and the bits I couldn't reach round the light and at the edge of the ceiling...

5.  Walls not only have ears, they also speak messages...

6. It is surprisingly hard to write with a paint roller, particularly if the letter is not a straight line....








7.  Do not turn down any willing volunteer...
I was painting the stairs wall
.
KHT - How are you going to reach this bit up here?
Me - I suppose I will have to come up there
KHT - Well if you pass me the roller I could do some painting!






8.  There will come a point when you doubt your sanity.  Usually just after the first brush stroke!
You spur yourself on with the delusion that it will be better when it is done!  It is true that the place will look better without the scribble under the mirror.

9.  If in doubt paint round large items like mirrors...

10.  You will ache tomorrow. In fact you are already aching....

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