Thursday, 6 August 2015

The Gospel according to Garfield

I am sending my Messenger ahead to prepare the way...Nermal prepare for a voyage into the unknown!

Locust are NOT food, and as for honey, I think they have me confused with that soppy Pooh Bear...

A boy just gave me 5 loaves and 2 fish for what is for pudding? What do you mean 'I was supposed to share'?  How would they have fed all these people? Ha - That WOULD require a miracle.....

Narrow gate, wide gate? Narrow gate, wide gate?  I won't even fit through the narrow gate, so how is that an option?

Consider the lilies....hmmmm...what flavour do they come in?

If I was a whale, I don't think I would have swallowed Jonah, lasagne looks far more tasty!

Look, Eve, don't be tempted by the healthy stuff! It is so dangerous!

Moses, I misread the invitation.  I thought you were inviting me to a 40 year long pudding party.

Call yourself wise men, yet you arrive without any food?

Jesus, why did you stop after turning water into wine?  You could have turned plates to pizza, lakes to custard and mountains to chocolate coated with ripe strawberries....

If ever I fall on hard times, can this prodigal just eat bacon, instead of going through all that repentance thing? Just think how much happier my older brother would be!

Noah, this cat will decline the invitation into the ark, thank you. The lasagne is still alive....

(c) RJH 2015