Wednesday, 11 January 2017

Window shopping

The KHT does not like new clothes.
She prefers the familiar.
The safe.
The ones that help her to look like the KHT.
Any new items introduced into her wardrobe are by careful diplomatic negotiation.  No good buying too many, they will NOT get worn.  For example, a jumper and a hoodie are sufficient for her needs.

Sometimes she will look at totally impractical clothing, safe in the knowledge that the wearing of them will not be expected.  Browsing through the jumble sale of M & S ladies clothing after several week of the sales, she spots a top which may well look great with the right combination of other items, I just lack the vision to see what they might be...

"Hmmm," says she "What do you think of this?
I play along,
"That's a nice top."
"Wait a moment!" she declares dramatically, "Is it see through?"
"It could be" I reply
"Let me check" she announces, in the voice of one who is an expert in these matters.
Sure enough her hand is faintly visible through the fabric.
"Just as I thought! I couldn't wear that!  People might see my..."
I nod.
"Your....." I agree
There is a pause for perfect timing.
Not too long,
not to short.
Her face betrays a prospect too terrible to verbalise.
Then the conclusion is delivered with a flourish
"...my stomach!" she declares triumphantly.
Safe in the knowledge that no-one could ever expect THAT to be exposed.
We do not buy the top.
Not that it was the right size for either of us!

Never a dull moment shopping with the KHT.