Tuesday, 22 August 2017

How Well Do you know Jo?

For the benefit of those who cannot resist taking meaningless quizzes on Facebook, here is yet another one - go on you know you want to!
The passage is Genesis 41:1-46. It was written for one of our morning services, as we are doing a series on Joseph, but it never got used. It is too good to waste, so I will let you enjoy the challenge. Let me know how well you do!

1. After he was released from prison how long was it before the cupbearer remembered Joseph?
a)  Two days.
b)  Two hours
c)  Two months
d)  Two years

2.  In his first dream where was Pharaoh standing?
a)  In the queue at Tesco.
b)  In a cornfield.
c)  Outside his palace, 
d)  beside the Nile

3.  What animals appeared to him first in his first dream
a)  Six dancing Pink elephants,  
b)  Seven well-fed cows.
c)  A flock of sheep 
d)  Seven thin cows

4. What happened to these first animals?
a)  They went to a disco.
b)  They got eaten by thin cows.
c)  They turned into pyramids.
d)  They went swimming in the river.

5. The king had a dream about ears of corn, what happened to the thin ears of corn
a)  They listened very carefully to Pharaoh.
b)  They ate the fat ears of corn.
c)  They got turned into breakfast cereal.
d)  They ate all the cows

6. The cupbearer had a confession to make...
a)  He had drunk all the wine.
b)  He had spilt the wine.
c)  He had forgotten about Joseph.
d)  He had forgotten to order the wine.

7. Before Joseph appeared before the king, 
a)  He shaved and changed his clothes.
b)  He drank some wine to celebrate.
c)  He read up on dream interpretation.
d)  He updated his Facebook status

8. What did Joseph tell the pharaoh that the dreams meant?
a)  There would be seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine.
b)  He needed to buy another seven cows 
c)  Seven was Pharoah's lucky number
d)  Pharaoh was going to reign for seven more years

9. What did the King appoint Joseph to do?
a)  Ride around in his chariot.
b)  Write songs with Graham Kendrick.
c)  Run a centralised food supply management system for the next fourteen years.
d)  To be a prince

10. What personal possession did the king give to Joseph as a symbol of his authority to act on behalf of the King?
a)  A toy cow.
b)  A field of wheat
c)  A ring 
d)  His shoes

Answers below....

1 d, 2 d, 3 b, 4 b, 5 b, 6 c, 7 a, 8 a, 9 c, 10 c. Award yourself one point for each correct answer.

11 points
I think you were a bit creative with your scoring.

10 points
I bet you know the words of EVERY song from 'Joseph and his Amazing Technicoloured Dreamcoat'..."Close every door to me...."

9 points
Great attempt, have an extra point for honest scoring.

8 points
I hope you weren't there on Sunday if you didn't get them all right!

7 points
Did you think seven was the answer to everything?

6 points
Keep taking those quizzes, you may get the hang of them yet!

5 points
Thanks for dropping by.

4 points
Maybe you are not too good at addition....

3 points
Doctrinally sound if nothing else...

2 points
You were not really trying, were you?

1 point
Do not take up baking. It will all end in tears.

0 points
Try a quiz on Ecclesiastes, because it is all pointless.....
...and not for the right reasons.

Minus figures
Something has gone wrong. Please try again...

Tuesday, 15 August 2017

Yesterday's Treasure

Destination Wembury - our fav beach of the summer.  Just one problem - the car park is full and, as there is a wedding later, the church car park is unavailable. There are residential streets where we could park, but that doesn't seem fair, so we decide to head off to South Milton. The forecast is fair, but even if the main car park is full there should be space in the overflow field. We ponder further. The lack of parking at our original destination provides the opportunity to go somewhere new.  Wembury is the easy option - free car park for National Trust members, facilities and a cafe if we choose to use it. So we divert to Mothecombe - a place we had long intended to visit. The beach is accessed through a private estate, and until recently access has been restricted to a few days a week.  To date these days had never coincided with good weather, us remembering and having the inclination to go to an unknown destination. Today was going to be different.  We negotiate the narrow lanes, paid our £4.50 and unpacked the car. We knew from the online beach guide that the only loos were close to the car park, so it was essential to take advantage of these before we embarked on our walk to the beach.

A sign on the gate of the Schoolhouse Cafe directed us to the rear of the building. We then followed the footpath down the hill, past a field where an event was being set up. The workers looked rather warm as they laboured under the sun.  We passed through trees and suddenly the most beautiful beach was there in front of us.  We set up our chairs close to the high water mark. This was not a place where we would find sea glass, as it was too far from any major settlements.  However, there were some fascinating groups of people to watch, including those who dressed up, rather than down, to go in the sea. I overheard one of them say as they walked past
"Just remember, if anyone asks we are doing this for charity...!"

After lunch the family on the edge of the beach packed up and left, so we moved over to the spot they had vacated.  Shortly afterwards four small boys aged from about 3 upwards approached us.
"Excuse me, our rock is under your groundsheet. Would you mind if we get it ?"
Who could possibly refuse such a request?  We duly moved our groundsheet, but could see no sign of a rock.
"Are you sure it is here?" we asked.
"Oh yes. It is buried it in the sand. We need to dig it up."
The treasure hunters started digging. I looked at the smooth sand.
"The sand here has not been disturbed today, are you sure it is here?"
They gave me a look. The sort of look you give someone who should understand, but somehow does not.
"That is because we buried it yesterday!"
Dad was growing increasingly uneasy about their excavations close to our sitting place.
"Can't you find another rock?"
"But Dad, it is Fergus' rock.  We have to find it!"
"Well Fergus will just have to have another rock"
They struck rock, and the digging continued with renewed enthusiasm.
"We have found it!" They were delighted.  However finding rock is not the same as digging up a  rock. For all we knew it could have been part of the substructure of the beach. However, following further instruction from their father, they agreed that Fergus would be satisfied with a substitute and departed, leaving behind the evidence of their excavations.

The other strange thing was that there were about 4 large family groups of orthodox Jews on the beach, notable by their distinctive clothing. The older boys and men wore white shirts and black trousers, some changed into grey shorts to bathe in the sea.  The girls seemed to wear the same clothing as their sisters, and paddled and splashed around in their matching dresses. It seemed a good way of keeping track of your offspring. The ladies paddled in tights and most had their heads covered. We had seen some Jews on the beach at Wembury, but I do not think I have ever seen such a large number in any one place before. By 5 o'clock I estimated there were about 120 people on the beach, of which over 60 were Orthodox Jews - easily identifiable by their distictive clothing.  It made me wonder, if there had been 60 Christians on that beach, would anyone have known?

We watched the waves swell up the river, there were dark clouds to the east.

As we returned we could see that the event was an open air cinema, but apparently, it was sold out. I later found this Link.
What a fantastic setting to sit and watch a film under the stars. Even if the view would not be visible in the dark, it would still be a magical setting.

Thursday, 10 August 2017

Border Crossing

The forecast was indifferent.  Definitely NOT beach weather!  We cogitated. We deliberated.  A plan of action was required, but where shall we go? Finally it was decreed that we would cross the border into Cornwall and visit some of the south eastern corner of that county - the bit most people bypass on their way to more exotic locations, such as Newquay, Padstow or St Ives.
"Would you rather go by ferry or use the bridge?" we asked the KHT.
"The Bridge" declared that romantic little soul.  There was a pause, and then she said quietly, "But is IS a long time since I have been on a ferry. Let's go by ferry and return by the bridge."  Thinking that returning is always a good plan, we readily agreed to this scheme.  However, the Sat nav seemed a bit uncertain about our proposal.
"Have you allowed 'tolls' and 'ferrys'?" I enquired. We didn't want the poor thing having a nervous breakdown each time we crossed the river. Buttons were pressed,and seemed to indicate that 'the woman' would allow our journery, but the sat nav was still not certain. It hasn't entirely forgiven me for yesterdays mishap, when I accidentally ejecting the sd card containing the memory banks of the the sat nav, whilst trying to recharge my phone.  So it came to pass that we had to resort to the old fashioned method of map reading, and following road signs whils negotiating Plymouth.  Great joy!

We knew we didn't want the continental ferry (our plans were not that ambitious), but signs to the ferry to Cornwall were few and far between.  It was not until I looked at the map more closely that I remembered that Torpoint was in Cornwall, so all we had to do was follow Torpoint signs.... There was a fair old queue for the ferry, but we were soon loaded on, and crossing the Tamar. Once this was accomplished the satnav forgave us and started behaving again...

We headed to Mount Edgcumbe, as it sounded rather interesting, but when we arrived it didn't feel like what we were looking for - though what exactly that was none of us were certain!  We consulted the map once more, and decided to head up to Rame Head. The route took us up some very, very, very narrow lanes.  However when we arrived at the car park we knew we had made the right decision as it was absolutely stunningly beautiful.

After lunch we joined other tourists on the pilgrimage to the ancient 13th century chapel and admired the views. Afterwards we stopped off at the coastgard observation station to chat with the volunteers, who keep watch and log boats entering Plymouth Sound. While we were there some of the leading boats from this years Fastnet Race passed by.  The lighthouse on Eddystone rock was clearly visible today.
"How far away do you think that is?" they asked the KHT.
"About 10 miles" she guessed.
They were impressed. Most people guess 2 miles, instead of the 8 and a half miles, which it is. I must admit it looked a lot nearer than that.

We paused to admire the simple stone church at Rame, which appears to be lit only by candles.
By now the sun had broken through, so we stopped by at Kingsand to enjoy a sneaky sit on the beach in the sunshine, whilst the KHT collected more sea glass.

We headed back over the Tamar Bridge, admiring the beautiful sceenery. Later when I looked a my photographs, I noted that the Tamar Bridge was built as recently as 1961! That must have been a vintage year!

Sunday, 6 August 2017

Glassy Conversations

On Wednesday afternoon we found ourselves in the unenviable position of considering renaming our home 'Spring House', as water suddenly began bubbling up from one of the corners at the front of our house.  After ten rather worrying hours the water board appeared and solved the problem. The water sorted, we headed off to the coast....

Saturday was sunny and I spent a few hours happily wandering around the beach collecting sea glass. Occasionally I get the odd person commenting on my haul, usually it is fellow collectors.  However for some reason today I was being interrogated by men...

Man 1 "Are you collecting stones? Here is one for your collection."
Me "No, I am collecting sea glass," and show him the zip and seal bag containing my treasures.
Man 1 "I collect stones, and then I get a hot glue gun and stick them on to a glass tree."
Me - "Oh lovely."  Meanwhile, I am thinking I really hope the end result looks better than it sounds...

Man 2 (American) "What are you collecting?"
Me - "Sea glass" and I show him the same zip and seal bag.
Man 2 "Ah green stones... What are you going to do with them?"
Me "They will go in a jar on my windowsill to remind me of my holiday."

Later on my travels around the beach, I encounter the first man again. He looks at my collection.
Man 1 "If those were emeralds I would have to mug you..."
Me  "Fortunately they are just sea glass." 

The American greets me again. 
Man 2 "You have got a good collection there.  I have started my daughter collecting sea glass too. Have you got on words of advice for her?"
Me (think, yes, make sure you don't wear a low cut top...)  "Just tell her to keep looking. You only see the glass when it catches the light, so you do turn round and walk back over ground you have covered and you will see glass that you didn't notice the first time."

Today we went to another beach, and no-one commented on my collecting.
Now I will wait until we are home, to discover what is real glass, and what is mere imitation.