Clutter Mutter

Depressingly there is no visible difference.

The sifting and sorting is ongoing.

The pile of possessions classified as surplus to requirements regularly mounts up in the lounge and hall.

Car loads of possessions disappear,

but the place does not look any emptier.

As we move on from room to room,

we end up moving stuff back into the rooms we have already sorted.

How can so much have gone, 

yet the house still look so cluttered?

That which has gone,

was secreted away in cupboards,

like guilty secrets, 

never seeing the light of day.

Forgotten, like much of the past.

Things which we thought were lost, 

have been found.

Items we had forgotten had ever existed, have resurfaced.

Bags have departed to charity shops,

recycling,

family

and, 

when all else fails, 

landfill.

Books! 

Books figure high on our problem list.

Like bad habits, they are so easy to acquire, yet so difficult to dispose of!

Who wants outdated theology or text books, 

specialist fiction, not mainstream, 

and hundreds of children books?

The charity shops in my town are situated in places where you cannot park, 

and our books are of limited appeal, 

after all, not even we want them any more!

I have heard of a charity in another town, 

hopefully they will take the books, and they can be passed on and enjoyed by new owners.

"Towels - give them to an animal sanctuary" someone suggests, "They always need towels!"

I ring. 

No-one answers. 

They are probably too busy looking after the animals to answer the phone, 

and so yet another good intention bites the dust.

My wardrobe needs another cull.  

It, and I, 

have endured the humiliation of the first round

"Did you ever wear THAT???"

"Why did you buy that?"

"You have NEVER worn that!!!"

"You are not likely to wear that again."

I know I will feel better if my clothing is successfully contained within drawers and doors, 

instead of sprawling chaotically in places where it really should not be.

My husband helpfully encourages me with a quote from the King of Style William Morris - 

If you want a golden rule that will fit everybody, this is it.  Have nothing in your houses that you do  not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.

I look around me at the items that surround me and I am forced to admit that many breach that rule, and recognise with strange clarity,

how sentimentality

clouds my vision.

Decluttering produces in me a sense of panic, 

WHAT IF I AM THROWING SOMETHING IMPORTANT AWAY??? 

I stop, and put everything back.  

Just in case some ancient document or saxon treasure trove has infiltrated my home 

when I wasn't looking, 

and I have failed to notice...

When an area is clear and tidy, I feel an unfamiliar sense of freedom and liberation.

I begin again with the best of intentions, but I am easily distracted...

"Let us chuck all this wrapping paper. If we move in the next 12 months we will not want to move it!"

"But it may be useful?" declares my husband, who hates waste.

I sigh and capitulate, despising my weakness.

I am also irritated with myself of not buying a proper wrapping paper box when I saw them on sale last month...

2 rolls are rejected.

The rest return to the corner from whence they came, 

and I symbolically hurl the ones that are destined for recycling, over the banister 

- a hollow victory in a war that will continue to be fought for the foreseeable future.

We could just give in and stay in our home. 

We love it as much as when we moved in, 

but recognise that we need a more practical home, 

with an easier to maintain garden.  

I regret the lost opportunity of the one I thought was perfect and is no longer on sale.

Yet I have never crossed its threshold and in reality it may have been a great disappointment.
I find myself imagining how it could be the house we envision, if ever it returned to the market
I vow to continue to sift and sort, 

so that next time there is a serious contender we may be ready.

The New Year is a good time to recommit ourselves to the sorting.  

If change is coming we need to be ready for it, 

not barricaded behind our dreams and good intentions.  

Another bittersweet lesson learnt. 

Lord.  Be our guide in the year ahead. 

Amen

Anyone want a Loony Tunes Child sized sleeping bag?