Shopping Subversively

Wednesday evening - before queueing became a 'thing'

Each evening,
since we entered the  'Lock Down' era,
the KHT and I have taken an evening constitutional,
wandering round the neighbourhood
visiting Poke Stops
and catching Pokemon.

On Thursday evening,
we went on an impulse trip to Tesco,
as we were getting low on milk
and fresh provisions.

Having cased the joint
the previous evening,
when we were exploring the edge
of the adjacent woodland,
I was reasonably confident
that there would not be many customers
at this time of evening.
I was going to take the granny trolley -
but I wasn't going to get much
so... I would use a basket.
What could possibly go wrong?

Before we entered the shop we both put on a pair of protective gloves
and I reminded the KHT of the need to stay at least six feet away from both customers and staff.
I also gave instructions to avoid the possibility of any objection to us both entering Tesco.
"We will enter the store separately, 
both take a basket 
and I will meet you in Health & Beauty..."
- a part of the shop she usually gravitates towards.

However there was no queue.
Result - no one gave us a second glance as we entered the store.
So far so good!
The KHT got her antihistinimine pills - branded so much dearer, but hey, she has them.

During the forage, I successfully found:

• E45 cream (DH favours this brand)
• milk - 4 pints
• sugar
• large tin of red salmon

Good foraging, but boy the basket was getting heavy!

By now it is 8pm.
All of a sudden, there is a store announcement
encouraging everyone to show their appreciation to the NHS staff
The sound of clapping fills the store.
I know the KHT is closeby,
as I recognise the sound of her enthusuastic approval...

I appear into the main aisle, just as she appears a couple of rows further down.
"Hello Mum!" she greets me waving enthusiastically with a big KHT beaming smile.
A member of staff goes by pushing a cart of laden with stock
(not toilet rolls or hand soap).
He too turns and gives me a wave and a big beaming smile, echoing the KHT's greeting
"Hello Mum!"
So much for discretion regarding not taking the family shopping...

Remembering the trials of the previous week,
in CASE I ran foul of the three item rule - AGAIN -
I asked the KHT to put some Ryvitas in her basket.
and added some Cathedral City bites to my basket,
as we are both partial to them

I browse the 'Free From' section section,  seeking items for DH.
successfully locating breakfast biscuits but not caramel rice cakes.
Some you win...

Bakery section next.
There are large gaps but sufficient stocks for me to get a loaf and some rolls.
We both prefer Morrisons bread, but we settle for what we can get.
My basket is now getting so heavy that I cannot face ANY more shopping!
and head for the tills.

As a precaution, I have to wait at the place indicated
until the previous customer has completed their transaction.
The KHT is a few tills further down.
She waves frantically at me and in a stage 'whisper' enquires:
"MUM,  ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT ME TO PAY FOR THESE!!!!"
I nod and begin to place the items I have selected on the conveyor belt.
I pack my bag. However, I have under estimated it's capacity
and it is not BIG enough to contain all I have purchased.
I then opt to carry the bread to save it from being crushed!
I briefly consider calling my husband to come and rescue us, but it is not raining.
and the KHT would be disappointed if we didn't walk...

Right on cue she appears at my till just after I have paid.
I give her the bread to fit in the top of her bag.
"I DON'T THINK THEY SUSPECTED A THING!" she hissed,
louder than I thought it possible to hiss:
"I THINK WE HAVE GOT AWAY WITH IT."
Before anyone gets too carried away with wild ideas,
I better remind you that she was refering to the purchase of the Ryvita - nothing more, nothing less

Moral - when planning anything remotely subversive with the KHT, do not suggest that it is...

Catastrophe Averted

"Your Curate has a problem!" my friend informed me,
"She has posted on Twitter that she has a cat stuck up a tree in her garden. 
Can you let her know that I have a contact if she requires it."

Soon a flurry of emails and messages were going to and fro.
Preliminary arrangements were soon in place - including a protocol for social distancing
just to remind ourselves of the times we are in.
I got roped in as the common link between those who cared for cats
and those who had the cat dilemma
none of whom had ever met.

A free climber from a local cat club voluntered to come and scale the tree,
so we went to meet her.
On the way we discussed the appropriateness or otherwise of our journey.
"Does cat rescue count as essential travel?"
"I think it comes under animal welfare. I think travel for that purpose is permitted."

We entered the garden and looked for the cat.
We listened carefully, but not a miaow was to be heard.
Beyond the northern boundary lay a small wood.
I scanned the lower branches,
hoping to spot the miscreant moggy.
Then I saw her,
and my heart sank.
This would not be an easy problem to solve.
The silly puss was some forty to fifty foot up
a not terribly substantial ash tree,
The poor cat didn't look very happy
as it shuffled around
trying to find a comfy position,
and failing.
We then watched with dismay from our viewing area far below,
as the cat climbed up another three feet or so,
before pausing to wash.


"How long has it been up there?" 
"Well we first noticed it yesterday morning."
They decided it was about 9am when they first saw it.
Due to the height of puss' precarious perch
it was hard to zoom in and get decent picture on my phone.
Fortunately I had my camera with me.

Meanwhile, the free climber had made her way into the adjacent woodland
battling her way through brambles and tangled undergrowth to the base of the tree,
However, the branches were not substantial enough for her to safely attempt a rescue
and we quickly reached the verdict that a skills of a tree surgeon were required.

As we waited I posted on local social media in an attempt to find the owner,
At this stage I could only post the photo taken on my phone.
Although my camera is wifi enabled
I haven't work out how to sync this yet
as the camera is new and I am still finding my way round it.

Meanwhile my accomplice, who understands cats,
tried to get hold of the same tree surgeon who rescued her cat,
when she found herself in a similar predicament.
when her cat climbed a tree and was unable to get down.
Alas the he wasn't answering his phone, so a message was left.
There was nothing we could do at this stage,
so we thanked the free climber and returned home.

I removed my sd card from the camera
and uploaded a better picture of the cat onto social media via my computer,
as I wasn't convinced that even a doting owner would have identified their cat from the first picture!
I tagging the only other person I knew who lived close by.


By a convolunted route contact was made with the tree surgeon,
who had bad news and good news.
The bad news was that he was already committed to a job that would take the rest on the day.
The good news was that he recommended another tree surgeon to come and rescue the cat.

I had just sat down to my lunch when I got a message that the second tree surgeon was on his way and we needed to return.
My soup was consumed in record time.
"Have you got a bag we could use?" my friend asked
"A supermarket bag?" I suggested.
"Hmm, it needs to be able to be fastened."
"How about this old baby change bag. 
I should have chucked it years ago?"
It was subjected to a stern appraisal, before being given the reluctant nod of approval.



I emptied the contents onto my desk,
which included a variety of odd baby socks, some childrens books,
a baby gro,
a top for a small child
some out of date chewing gum
(I didn't check, I just assumed)
and some vintage church notices from 2002, beautifully decorated by the KHT!
I did say it was an old bag!


We hit the road on our second essential non-essential trip of the day
arriving a minute or so before the tree surgeon,
who soon got to work.
We watched in awe as he threw ropes into the air,
repeating the process until they were placed to his satisfaction.
Branches that threatened to impair his ascent were quickly removed,
snapping easily like brittle twigs
which made us fear for his life!
We took comfort from the fact that as this was his profession
we assumed that he could read the trees
and knew how to tackle this seemingly impossible problem safely!

Then he slowly began his ascent working his way up and across
towards where the cat huddled in the fork of two branches.
Meanwhile I was snapping away on my camera.
We could hardly bare to watch, convinced he was about to fall

Upon reaching the cat,
he took several attempts to get hold of her.
We watched anxiously as she wriggled
worried in case the cat escaped
and either went even further up the tree out of reach
or decided to jump.

The cat was unceremoniously gathered up and bundled into the bag.
The treef surgeon quickly lowered himself to the ground
in a fraction of the time taken by his ascent
and handed over the bag containing the cat.
My friend quickly checked the poor thing,
which seemed none the worse for its adventure.
It was determined that we did not need to traumatise it further
by keeping it constrained and taking it to a vet - if we could find one open!

Once it was free, the cat quickly retreated beneath their picnic table,
and continued to regard us suspiciously.
Everone was relived that the cat was safely down from its perch
the rescuer posed happily for his photo,
gathered up his ropes and departed -
happy to be a hero
and definitely worthy to be one.

I returned home, sat down at my computer and noticed the sd card still in the slot.
No series of pictures of that heroic rescue then :(
Fortunately a few others were taken by others.

DH then decide to enable the bluetooth on my new camera,
which I had tried and failed to do.
He also established what lead I require
so that I never have to remove my sd card from the camera again.

The silver lining is there if you look, even if you hadn't wanted the cloud in the first place...

Super-gedden

And so it came to pass that
after many years of having avoided food shopping,
I returned to Morrisons
alone
to do a weekly food shop
plus shopping for a friend.
This hasn't happened for years!

I was greeted by
a queue of
r  e  g  u  l  a  r  l  y  *  s  p  a  c  e  d  *  s  h  o  p  p  e  r  s.

As we approached the entrance to the store
Morrisons had thoughtfully laid out a guard of honour
in the form of upturned trollies to welcome me
- which was a lovely, if unexpected, surprise.
So far, so good...

Once in the store, however,  it was very difficult to stay six feet away from the other shoppers.

There were:-

Grand Prix shoppers - silently revving all the time they were in the queue.
Hurtling through the doorway as soon as they get the signal to go.
Single-mindedly manoevring their trolley along the most efficient route
to obtain the list of items on their mental list,
pay
and exit.

Orderly Shoppers - who progress round the store aisle by aisle,
they probably know the layout better than the staff.

Precaution Shoppers - wearing masks and gloves.
Operating a strict twelve foot exclusion zone

Impulse Shoppers - fly in,
chuck items in trolley,
leave without half the stuff required.
Repeat.

Occasional Shoppers - haphazardly move around the store,
trying to multitask as they shop from several lists and avoid other folks.

No prizes for guessing which category I fell into.

After two tours of the shop and trying to avoid fellow shoppers
I had amassed sufficient anxiety and supplies to justify departing.

I headed for the tills.
After my adventures in Tesco I opted for the self scan...
Big mistake!
I think I managed to activate the red light about 10 times.
The scales seemed to object to everything I put on them.
I shall not be repeating the experience in a hurry!
Apologies to the woman behind me.
You chose the wrong queue!

Before

After

I spent the afternoon recuperating
from my retail nightmare,
enjoying some gardening in the sunshine.
The seasonal trim of Oliver and Olivia which commenced yesterday
was completed,
neatening up any straggly bits
missed yesterday.
I thought I heard Oliver complaining
that he could no longer keep an eye
on the neighbours quite so easily,
but it could just have been
the wind in the trees...

The New Normality

"I had a text this morning from the Government
about Corona Virus"
"That's odd," responded the KHT, "So did I!"
Considering we are on the same plan, no great surprise really!
Somehow our family seemed to be on the first wave
of official notifications
with other folks not receiving them later in the day,
or even the following one.
At the same time people were getting emails advising them,
that due to their health,
they must stay home, and operate social distancing
from other members of their family.
That led to a bit of confusion
- did you get the 'isolating' or the 'standard' text?
Meanwhile, are we officially in 'LOCK DOWN', 
or just in
'stay at home unless you are going out for essentials or exercise..' ?

The morning got underway
with the KHT at college in the lounge,
and me at my temporary office in the spare room.
Meanwhile DH decided this was the perfect time to rearrange the cupboards in the utility
- well he didn't want to be left out...

The KHT's first assignment was a PE lesson with Joe Wicks.
How can anyone so slight make SO much noise just exercising?
Answer, landing flat footed!
Soon her jumper was discarded and trousers rolled up to her knees,
as she became a kangeroo, and attempted squats and star jumps.

Oliver .......................and  ................................Olivia

After lunch Oliver and Olivia were treated to their annual trim.
They were not to be inconvenienced by the closure of non-essential services,
like hairdressers.
It may not be the right time of year to trim olive trees,
but they had kind of lost their shape.
As I do not like olives
any potential reduction in yield
was not my primary concern.
In reality I  think they may be a purely ornamental variety as all they produce are tiny dried up olives
not even worthy of adorning the dishes of a mouse!

In the garden it all felt very safe,
and it was easy to forget the catastophic health crisis
happening in the world beyond our garden fences.

Over on the allotments someone was burning rubbish.
Dark acrid smoke hung heavily in the air., reluctant to disipate,
When it it invaded our garden, we reteated inside and closed the doors.
By now it was late afternoon, so we were not too inconvenienced.

In the evening I took the KHT out for our permitted exercise.
On a narrow path we encountered a couple walking their dog.
The KHT and I moved to one side of the path to give them maximum space.
The woman chose to walk on the grass to maximise spacing,
but her companion,
towed along by their canine,
maintained his course.
I tried not to breathe as we passed.
"WHAT IF THEY HAVE IT!" I  thought to myself.
"CAN YOU CATCH IT JUST BY WALKING PAST SOMEONE?"

We spent about an hour
walking around the estate.
The sign outside the pub declared
'Open as usual'.
They lied.
The lights were off and doors closed.
The KHT spotted a sign on the window and tiptoed up to read it
"Hmm, it is about deliveries..."
she pronounced.
It may be many months before they reopen.

We began a game of eye spy
"I spy with my little eye, something beginning with C..."
The KHT had some really good guesses
Chinese Grass,
cars,
coat,
but after about twenty guesses she was ready to quit.
"What's behind you?"
She turned and looked
"Church!"
She had assumed that the item in question
was in front of her...

No fairies have been to magically replenish the food stocks, so tomorrow I will head out to the supermarket,
armed with a list...
What will I be able to get?
Will I bring the virus back with me?
Do I already have it?
I am not so worried for myself,
more for others.

Welcome to the new normaility.

Beauty in unexpected places

A beautiful memory
On Monday morning we failed to master Google Hangout,
so the KHT could paticipate in her college class.
However we weren't the only family having technological issues
so we avoided being placed in detention...
A phone call and update in software later and the issues were resolved
so the KHT was good to go in the afternoon,
and was delighted to meet up with her Tutor and fellow students
from the comfort of the settee in her own lounge.
During the earlier phone conversation
I got the opportunity to ask a question I had wanted to ask
ever since I had seen her list of tutors
"Did you used to play the tuba?"
"Yes!"
Cue memories of a particular church social
when we were treated to a musical item on the aforementioned beast
which had been embelished with a set of mains-powered fairy lights,
whilst gaily announcing to anyone within earshot,
"Too much saliva and I shall electrocute myself!"
That was in the days before we were quite so mindful of Health and Safety
and before battery powered lights were commonplace...
"Did you have the nickname 'Hat'?"
"Yes!"
 "I wondered if it was you when I saw the tutor list, 
but I wasn't sure if I had remembered your name correctly."
I confessed that I was the person that gave him the nickname,
reflecting the wide varity of headgear he had a penchant for wearing - from standard to wacky.
He once confided that that the name fitted him so well,
that it followed him, beyond the immediate ringing and church circles.
I did wonder how long the name stayed with him,
but it felt prudent not to enquire...

A beautiful flower
The sun shone,
forget the to-do-list,
you can't garden in the rain!
Make hay whilst the sun shines, and all that!
We are all going to have such immaculate gardens...
Outside in the garden the tulips emboldened by the sun
shyly opened.
I never was a great fan of tulips,
but I am warming to them.
There is something special about the moment,
when, after a period of anticipation, they open
and you can peep deep inside,
where no eye has ever seen before.
A marvel made by God
for our joy and delight.
If we take the time to notice...





Meanwhile, the tadpoles were hatching by the hundred.
I think we had thirteen mounds of frogs spawn this year
in our modest pond.
Liberated from their jellied coccoon
they clearly weren't practicing social distancing.
Massed together, like day trippers on a sunny day.
Wait 'til the Government hears about this...


A beautiful act
The phone rang
"Would we like any shopping?"
I probably should have requested bread, yogurts, pears, corgettes
and a whole host of other things,
but when the question was asked, my mind went blank
As I hadn't anticpated food purchasing opportunites I had neglected to make a list.
All I could think of was green bananas and vanilla essence!
These were duly delivered by the disinfected-gloved wearing angel,
practicing social distancing.

Monday evening and there was a death reported
People die every day,
but the first ever death in the town from Covid-19.
Sadly, it is unlikely to be the last.
After the folly of the weekend, with resorts rammed and a queue up Snowdon
The government has announced that all non-essential shops should close
and only essential visits should be made.

Shortly before bedtime I took the KHT out on a quick walk to the Pokestop.
We will have to stay home much more,
trips will be limited to essential shopping for food and meds and exercise - once a day.
However, those who have serious conditions have to stay home
and not even go into their gardens for three months!

We pray protection for all on the frontline,
whether offering medical care, manning tills or just keeping the country going
while we all stay home
and slow down the internet with our searches for news and distractions.

In the midst of all the darkness and fear,
there are still memories of beauty
moments of beauty,
acts of beauty.
Stores may be closed,
but God has not shut up shop.
Will revival come from this crisis?

We're looking to your promise of old

Trial Run

Sunday didn't feel like Sunday.
It didn't feel like any day really.
I was lost in a desert of apathy.
None of the things I planned to do, 'when I had the time', tempted me.
Neither was I ready to submit to the yoke of obedience
and tackle some of the things that I OUGHT to do,
using the excuse that it was Sunday after all...
My conscience wouldn't allow me to lose myself in a project I would really enjoy
until I had completed at least ONE task I really don't want to do.
Result, I argued with myself all day,
trying to convince my self that I didn't want to do the things I did,
and that I did want to do the things that, if I am honest, I really didn't
and unsurprisingly acheived nothing
apart from bingewatching a variety of services on facebook and youtube.

Through the windows the sunshine looked very tempting.
Alas when I slipped outside
it was far chillier than I had anticipated,
as a suprisingly chilly wind from the east blew across the garden
taking the smoke from the bonfires on the adjacent allotments  towards the highway and the ridge.

DH disappeared to his allotment,
to prepare the ground for this season's planting.
Long may he be able to do so!
However, with the idiotic behaviour of many
who have taken advantage of the spring sunshine
to travel to beaches and outdoor spaces,
giving scant regard for social distancing,
I fear we will soon be on lockdown,
which would be a bitter pill to swallow,
but if it saves lives
so it must be.

I long to walk at the edge of the tide,
searching for sea glass and other treasurers left behind by a retreating tide.
But such simple pleassures are not for a time like this.

The KHT appeared.
After some 'interesting wardrobe choices' in recent times,
I was keen for her to see that
the items she was wearing complimented each other...
The KHT has a natural eye for colour
but this does not influence her choice of clothing,
which as far as I can work out
are based more on 'what is next in the wardrobe'
rather than 'what goes with the item I want to wear'...
"Look in the mirror. 
Can you see that the colour of your top brings out the colour of the birds on your trousers?"
She looked quizzically at her reflection
"I look like a block of concrete."
"The colour does look the same, 
but you don't look anything like a block of concrete :)"

After lunch, DH and I chopped veggies for our first slowpot experimentation in the twin tub.

Hers

His

As there is very little flavouring
that he can add to his pot,
he got the meat joices and I made do with Bisto...
It has been years since we have cocoked this sort of meal
so DH read from the instruction manuel
"You may notice a slight metalic smell the first time you use your hot pot." he intoned.
"That will be nice..." I replied.



We had an appointment scheduled to have our hair cut first thing on Tuesday.
Over the last week or so, I had been thinking that we had the best appointment possible
as it would be the first one since Saturday lunchtime,
so all the surfaces should be virus free.
Then I noticed another hairdresser had closed
due to being unable to maintain the safe distancing required,
and I began to realise that we would probably be wise to cancel our appointment,
though I was relunctant to let the hairdresser down.
Some time ago I had liked her page.
Lo and behold a message came up that she too was closing.
I looked in the mirror at my unruly locks, and sighed.

DH departed back to his allotment
The smell of hot metal permeated the house.
Delish!

The KHT started to make flowers to decorate the front window
as part of a window decorating initiative,
though that will probably come to an abrupt end if we are all on lockdown.















The aroma of beef casserole
wafted through the house
replacing the metalic odour.
I breathed a sigh of relief.

When DH returned from the allotment,  he was updated.
"You will soon look like a wooly mammoth as the hairdresser has cancelled the appointment."
"I could grow my hair long and have a pony tail!" my husband announced.
"Yes, you and Uncle Phil could be twins!" declared the KHT joyfully
"And that is the one thing you could have said that will persuade your dad not to!
No adult wants to be accused of being a their siblings twin, unless they are." I pointed out.

Despite the delicious aroma, the KHT decided that a veg lasagne was more to her taste,
so the oven went on anyway...

To mark 'the hour of hope' we put some lights in our bay window - a safer alternative to the suggested candle
as I wasn't planning to sit and keep an eye on it

I took the KHT out for a short walk to pick up some shopping that had been done for us - which included some Gluten-Free White bread flour to DH's delight.

In the news we hear that various stores are closing,
Primark was one.
That will not affect us as I do not shop there on principle.
Then I heard that Lakeland are closing.
Phew! Got the 'twin tub' just in time.
However, it will be some  time before that wooden spoon gets returned.

Lighten our darkness, we beseech thee, O Lord; and by thy great mercy defend us from all perils and dangers of this night; for the love of thy only Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ.  Amen.

Lighten our darkness

Double Blessing

On Saturday we should have been cruising on a canal boat with an assortment of family members,
quiet and not so quiet,
celebrating my daughters forthcoming birthday.
Sometimes life doesn't quite pan out the way we anticipate - understatement of the year!
Instead we are sailing slowly through this time of uncertainty and anxiety,
waiting to see what the next 'lock', or day, might bring.

Meanwhile, the Corona virus now has the more sinister name, Covid-19.
Like carbonmonoxide its presence is invisible,
unlike Carbonmonoxide it cannot yet be detected
as it wreaks its covert havoc.
Out of sight, within the body.
No-one knows it is there.
At a time like this a mini project helps to focus the mind.

Anyone unfortunate enough to follow my blog
may have noticed that I am partial to a certain soup.
My small store is soon going to be exausted
and, under the current understandable restrictions,
and panic purchasing,
I am unlikely to be able to replenish my small stash.
"Maybe I need to get a soup maker...?" I pondered.
We did some research.
I am a great fan of slow cooking, not fast food,
so having looked into the way soup makers work,
I realised that I did not actually want one.
"I want something more like a slow cooker."
"You HAVE a slow cooker!"
"Yes, but it is rather big. Tipping soup out of it would be a bit weird."
More research followed.

Then I had a eureka moment.
"They do twin slow cookers"
"What is a twin slow cooker?"
"You have two pots, 
so you could use one for your gluten/dairy/lemon/tomato/egg/carotene free dishes 
and the KHT and I could have the other. 
That way we get to use the oven less than we do at the moment.
I could also make soup in one."
"Can you use just one?"
"Yes."
"Looks like a good plan.
What will you do with the old one?"
"Well I am not sure you can fit a joint in one of these pots. They are only 1.7 litres each."
"How big is the old one?"
"Dunno, three or four litres..?

And so an order was placed.
Click and collect at Lakeland.
The plan was I would sneak in and collect the order,
whilst practicing safe social spacing,
leaving DH and the KHT explored the gardens.
"Could you check the deli section for gluten-free bread flour...? 
and a beech wooden spoon from Lakeland..
and we could do with a another pop up garden bin 
to replace the one that is about to disintegrate"


We arrived at Webbs and as it was a beautiful day
we had a brief wander round the furthest part of the gardens,
then I left DH and the KHT to continue exploring
whilst I went on a brief foray into the world of Webbs.
The first thing I encountered was a hand sanitiser.
Then I took a tortuous route to the deli section,
steering my trolley through a convoluted route
through the pet section
in an attempt to keep a clear six feet
between myself and other shoppers.
It was like taking part in a giant puzzle.
Younger shoppers seemed oblivious
to any need for social spacing,
as they examined patio sets and garden lights.

At one point I realised a shop assistant
was about to move into the next space I had earmarked.
I stopped in my tracks
and was very impressed when he instantly recognised
the cause of my hesitation
and quickly manoevered round the other side of the display,
encouraging me to take the route I had intended.

In the Deli there was no sign of any flour of any description,
let alone the limited edition gluten-free white bread flour my husband sought,
I moved on to the garden tool section and located a replacement pop up storage container.
I had no idea if that was a good price or not.
I just wanted to escape. ASAP!

Next stop was Lakeland and the twin tubs... (Slow cooker)
I was about to leave the store when I remembered the request for a wooden spoon.
Having located them I grabbed three,
as I know at least two of the ones we are currently using are looking rather sad,
mainly on account of being put in the dishwasher!
"They come with a three year guarantee!" announced the assistant brightly.
"I think we will have lost them long before then..." I replied.
Nevertheless I tucked the receipt safely in my bag.

Twin tub

Back home, items on the worktop in the utility
were rearranged to make room for our new toy.
"Some people roast their veggies in a slow cooker."
I was advised.
"Well we have one pot each so that isn't going to happen, 
and I didn't want a triple slow cooker."
"They do triple ones?" asked DH incredulously.
"Yes, but the dishes were smaller 
and it would have taken up more room."

The wooden spoons were admired
and then DH noticed that one was chipped.
"Well, that can go back, sometime." I declared.
"You are going to take it back?" asked DH incredulously
"Not immediately, but next time I am in at Webbs. 
They have a three  year guarantee, though I never imagined that I would require it!"
Another of life's surprises...

How long, How long, O Lord will this virus last?
Protect us and save us from all perils and dangers of this night, 
and the days and nights ahead.
Amen

Rule of Three

Ventured out into Tesco during a quiet period on Thursday.

No sale!

It transpired that there was a good reason it was quiet -
no milk,
no meat
no tins...
The signs said there was a "three item limit per product".
What they didn't say was that
breadsticks,
Cathedral City bites,
Ryvita
and DH's 'free from' products
were all classified as 'the same products'...
DH's need was greatest, so the rest went in the 'return trolly' placed beside each till.
We live and learn.

I have worked in retail.
I have worked in retail at Christmas.
I understand the need to limit what we buy.
I just struggled to understand why if these measures were in place,
that stock levels were so low in some sections...
We could have split up,
and taken three lots of products through three separate tills,
but we didn't.
Inconvenient as it was, I agreed with the limit.
DH's items were the priority,
but he wasn't allowed two lots of rice cakes AND two lots of breakfast biscuits.
That would be four items.
He had to put one back...
Decisions, decisions!

On Friday, DH wanted to know if there was any of the gluten-free flour and yeast in Sainsbury's. Having worked in retail in the past I rarely go food shopping these days.
DH has identified a very limited range of products that are compatible with his dairy/gluten/cornflour/carotene/egg/lemon/tomato free diet.
Unfortunately this involve visits to Tesco, Morrisons ANDSainsbury's.
Our Asda is too small to run the specialist lines he requires.
Periodically he goes for a wander along the aisles of Asda,
hoping that their range will have been transformed,
only to be disappointed.
Again.

Into Sainsbury's I went with my weird list.
I was shopping for my family and a friend.
Alien territory - I wandered up and down aisles,
trying to keep six feet away from fellow shoppers.
Stopping to squint at shelf edge tickets as I tried to work out if items I sought were out of stock ,
or if I was looking in the wrong place.
The only assistant I spoke to had been seconded to the shop floor from the cafe,
so gave the best advice she could.
Teabags yes - I got one of the last boxes, so those visiting the shop after me would not have been so fortunate :(
Humbugs - yes
Oat Milk  - last carton
Choc Pots - no, but alfter a phone consultation salted caramel were a satisfactory substitution
Ordinary milk - YES
Meat - YES
Weird Ryvita YES
Butter - YES
Coffee - YES Well stocked so I took two!
Frozen Veg - YES
Yellow Pepper - YES
Cooked Meat - YES
Cress - YES
GF Yeast - YES
GF Bread Flour - No (DH is reacting to all the GF shop bread, so has to make his own)
GF Rice - YES
Moo Free chocolate - yes
All in one bag - I wasn't anticipating so much success so I only took one bag in to the shop.
"Do you need another bag?" asked the concerned assistant.
"It will be fine, " I assured him,
"I only have to get it to the car."
Needless to say that due to the weight I only just managed to lift it out of the trolly and into the car.
If the handle gives way soon, you will all know why!

The only problem I hit in Sainsbury's was that I couldn't buy three x 1 litres of milk,
but I could swop two of the 1 litres for a 2 litre - same amount of milk,
but rules is rules, and I get that.
In this time when just obtaining provisions becomes a major preoccupation,
it gives me some insight into what my parents and grandparents lived through during the war.
Meanwile, do take time to give thanks for all who are working so hard to try and keep up with the extraordinary demand.

Before tea, we caught up with Boris' broadcast.
The news coming out of Italy is heartbreaking
so many lives lost,
so many people dependant on ventilators.
Pubs, clubs, restaurants shut from tonight.
Soon we will be on lockdown.
I am so grateful that we have a garden.
Our oasis.

The enemy is subtle, invisible and thrives on complacency.
May we all be ever watchful.

Lord hear our prayer
and let our cry come unto thee...

Two Soups!

Day two of the New WAH* Era
*Working At Home.
I completed nothing I intended to, but plenty I didn't - just like being at work, really...
Meanwhile the world is slowly 'un-doing',
Interestingly, as we have ceased from 'doing' and the weather is inclement
emails get answered almost immediately.
It won't last...

As a household, we had been pondering on how to manage a period of social distancing.
Then over coffee DH announces
"We will need some more nuts soon for the squirrels, we are getting low."
My hearts sinks - Webbs is the cheapest place to buy these, by far.
Was it worth the risk of encountering fellow humans, just to get food for the wildlife?
We could just stop feeding them, but it is spring and the squirrels require a reliable source of food.
Besides, their gymnastics are a joy to behold.
"Well, if we are going to Webbs, we could go a bit further and visit the M & S on the edge of Worcester, then I could get some more soup"
"Well, you will probably be limited to about two tins. Is it worth it? 
You will just have to eat something else"
"Well, we could do with some fresh bread and I can't face a trip to a large supermarket..."

Off we set, through the perma-drizzle.
Driving through puddles and admiring the ever greening of the countryside
despite the gloomy greyness.

Spot the soup

M & S had plenty of fresh food and chilled food
but you can't stockpile products with a short shelf life.

I gazed down the aisle,
normally lined with
regimented rows
of tinned products
and was amazed at the contrast to previous visits.
A 'herd' of locusts must have stampeded through,
devouring everything
within easy reach -
leaving the upper shelves relatively unscathed.
I turn helplessly to DH
"I have no idea even where the soups should be!"
In desperation we revert to reading the shelf edge tickets.
"They should be here..." pronounces DH.
I look,
and their gazing back at me are two tins of my favourite chicken soup.
Two will do!
Yes, I am sure you have all seen aisles much worse than this...but this was M & S!
I think we bought four items in total, and clearly haven't cracked this 'panic buying' lark!

We return via Webbs,
where we purchased the required sunflower seeds and peanuts.
Does it count as stockpiling if it is a bag each of peanuts and sunflower hearts,
destined for the wildlife?

Waiting Game

Corona virus here
Corona virus there
Corona virus could be anywhere!
Could arrive at anytime...
I check my throat
Is it sore?
I cough
Is this the first
in an endless
unending
succession?
If I succumb,
who gets the spare bed
 - DH or moi?

My diary, which had been full of busy-ness
is now a sea of empty-ness.
Deleted entries litter each page,
reminding me of things that will not be...
or may be - at some unknown moment.
Life is on hold for the foreseeable future.

On Friday, we started cancelling events,
and although others thought we were being overly cautious
it felt like the right thing to do to protect our participants with health issues
additional maturity, or both.
If folks showed symptoms when they are contagious then life would be significantly easier,
but they don't.
The virus is an unseen danger all around us,
germ warfare lurking under an invisibility cloak - but that makes it sound cool,
and masks the terrifying reality of the danger posed.

Today, I collected my gear from work,
changed the message on the answer phone
and left to work at home until further notice.
Surreal, but essential.

Later I wandered out into the garden.
The tadpoles are starting to hatch.
New life is happening, even in these days of doom and darkness.
Meanwhile the BBC subtitles change carers into carrots...
You couldn't make it up!