Mysteries of Malvern

Monday dawned as Mondays often do, grey and dreary, overcast and weary. We went west on a not-so-grand expedition to the posh granny town of Great Malvern

On the way, I took a quick photo of my favourite dying tree. If you think it looks bad now, you should see it in summer, when it is at its most ugliest - neither convincingly dead or alive. However, during the bleaker months, it acquires a certain striking desolate beauty, that emphasises the metrological variations of our climate. Today the dark skeleton of the branches contrasted with the murkiness of the sky, which made it look positively funereal. All that was missing were a few carrion circling overhead.

We stopped off at The Fold, a place we had often driven past, but never visited before. There are a range of retail units around a courtyard, with a thriving cafe at the heart. As it was Monday most of the units were closed. We did, however, discover a map detailing some interesting trails, which we will explore on a drier day.  It was too early to eat, so we moved on to Malvern for the main purpose of the day which was to investigate parking, ahead on a visit my chauffer is planning to make later in the week. A simple enough task one would have thought...




We discovered the recommended car park and read the signs.

Daytime Parking - a choice of 2 or 4 hours... or a week.
Well, it did say Long Stay, but that is a huge leap between £2 and £9...












By chance, we looked at the evening charges, no idea why. After all, it was only midday!
£1.50 for overnight - that seems quite reasonable.  Wait!  What is this charge I see before me?
'*Up to 24 hours £3 * Available at all times'
If it is available at all times, why is it listed under the evening charges?  Does it apply only if you pay after 4pm?
We note that the asterisk and note that 'available at all times' appears to have been added afterwards, either that or the graphics team were having a random day when they designed the sign. We require answers, so I tweet the question to Malvern Council.

We head off on a tour of alternative parking options, to research what the charges are on nearby car parks. Bad news. They all have identical signs. Arghh!

None the wiser we concentrate our efforts on finding somewhere to eat, ending up in a small quirky cafe with views of both the Priory and the passing traffic. Two major features of Great Malvern.

Afterwards we pop into some interesting and not so interesting shops. The KHT strikes gold with a purchase (which I cannot mention) and also buys a large purple box file in which to store her magazines. Who can argue with such a purchase!?  Sadly my favourite card shop, which had a fantastic range of quirky cards, has closed :(

We drown our sorrows in Waitrose cafe, before browsing their shelves of middle-class decadence. Tomorrow's tea is purchased, courtesy of the reduced section, along with carrots that Charles and Camilla must have planted, as they were from the Duchy of Cornwall. I imagine Charles, striding through fields of waving carrot tops, chatting to them as he passes by... Do not disillusion me...





Upon arriving home I check my twitter account in case there have been any developments.  I have several notifications
1. Malvern Town Council reply to my question by informing me that the car park is run by the District Council not the Town Council and that I should ask the District Council.  In other words, it is nothing to do with us, pal. (Why does Malvern need two councils?)
2. Then the Town Council again replied to let me know that that they had looked at Malvern Hills District Council's website and they weren't sure about the signs either...
Oh no! I have created a diplomatic incident between the town council and the Malvern Hills District Council. It is going to be pistols at dawn on Worcestershire Beacon!
3. Then the Malvern Hills team tweeted that they were checking with the Parking Department...
4. Then they both decided that it is officially £3 all day. Good to know that the Malvern Councils are speaking to each other.
Phew!
So if you are planning to go to Malvern, then I can now tell you that it is officially £3 to park all day, according to Twitter.
Meanwhile, if the Malvern Hills District Council could update their signs to avoid confusion, many visitors would be very grateful.