Giant Mrs Sneeze

Late Saturday evening I became aware that the cold I had recently recovered from,
was in the process of being replaced by a fresh variety,
with coughing that was increasingly ineffectual,
and sneezes that were even more powerful and explosive
than those suffered during the previous ailment!
Just what you need when you are leading and preaching at the Mothering Sunday service the next day.

All went well on Sunday morning until I got to the sermon,
which required more than a couple of sentences be strung together.
Cue overwhelming desire to cough.
At one stage I required a drink of water at the conclusion of every sentence.
I thought to myself, at this rate this is going to be a v-e-r-y  l-o-n-g  s-e-r-m-o-n (swig of water).
By now the glass was literally three-quarters empty,
so I between sermonising, coughing and swigging
I requested additional supplies.
The kindly sidesperson came to my rescue with a glass of H2O,
which had the most amazingly restorative powers.
As long as I grasped the glass firmly in my hand like a security blanket
I did not cough,
which was a great relief  - to myself and the congregation.

Back home, the coughing, sneezing and spluttering continued, much to the cat's dislike.
It reached the point where I only had to pull a tissue out of the box,
and Tiddles was off,
out the cat flap.
The poor thing was unable to relax,
she lay watching me,
ready to respond to the merest hint of the blowing of the nose,
or, worse still, a sneeze!

Monday morning, and dawn was later that it had been in recent weeks,
on account of switching to BST.
Unusually, I was the first one up.
Driven from my bed by my incessant coughing.
The cat is usually very keen to be fed, but she stayed in the chair looking at me,
as if to say
"Oh no! It is Giant Mrs Sneeze! Why did it have to be her that got up first?!"
Puss examined her food suspiciously,

ate a little and left a lot.

Then stomped off through the cat flap away from my sneezes.

I think we will both be pleased when this malady has run its course.