Headlines From A Holiday

Bank Holiday Trap!
Woman spends all Bank Holiday weekend firmly wedged in the doorway, after she tries to exit the caravan holding:-

• flask, 
• bag of beach clothes and towels, 
• cool bag containing lunch 
• phone
• camera
• handbag
• emergency cardi

Flower Power
Holiday maker succesfully convinces husband that they are visiting nearby narrow gauge railway to admire the floral displays...





Missing
Man surprised to discover that his swimming trunks failed to magically appear in the beach bag.
He shook his head and observed sadly...
"Last  time I saw them they were in my clothing bag in the caravan, ready to go to the beach..."

Tide
Girl surprised to discover that the tide will go and and come in again,
just like yesterday,
but it will be running at a slightly later time...

Ringing In Ears
After visiting twenty different churches in a day on a bellringing open day in Wiltshire, a couple are convinced they can hear bells even when none are ringing...

Toast
Caravanners on site all aware that the occupants of pitch no.60 are cooking toast again,
after they activate their smoke detector at precisely 9am, for the third day in a row...





Life Saver
Woman hopes that pouring calorie-laden cream on to her calorie-laden pudding in the form of a cross, will absolve her from any calories!






Starter for 10
The KHT attempts to start a lively conversation, with the fun opener
"What is the most interesting part of highway maintenance?"







Graffiti
Holidaymaker delighted to discover someone with the same itintials has already carved them in the rock.
They can now upload a picture of the initials to their Instagram account and claim the credit,
until they get called out by an ecco warrior - at which point they can conveniently explain that the initials were already there...











Jenga
Husband steadfastly refuses to have anything to do with the precarious stack of washing up on caravan draining board, as he suspects it is a booby trap...










Sign of the Times
Woman takes photo of 'Steep Steps' warning sign, so that she can boast that the route to the nearst public conveniences required the determination of the deliverer of the Milk Tray chocolates...






Contrary?
After several days sat with her back to the sea, studiously avoiding the tempting waves by focusing on a book from her extensive collection of literature written by Jacquline Wilson, the KHT decides at 5pm that the sea is absolutely the best place to be.
Ironically this is the point in time that her parents have quietly decided that it mught be a good idea to pack up the caravan and trek homewards.

Cannot Win
As the occupants of pitch 60 pack up late on Bank Holiday Monday, fellow campers view their departure suspiciously, muttering to anyone who will listen
"If they hadn't paid for tonight they should have left hours ago!"
followed by
"If they had paid for tonight, they should have not wasted their money and spent the day in traffic jams on the M5, rather than enjoying themselves on the beach..."