Over the last few years, DH has discovered that his skin reacts if he eats certain foods, so we have adjusted our diet to avoid unnecessary irritation. Prior to this, if I was cooking beef, I would have just chucked some red wine and herbs into the slow cooker along with the meat, added some finely diced veg and left it to cook. Sadly, those days are gone. Red wine has joined turmeric and paprika on the blacklist of ingredients we now avoid using.
I am not a great fan of culinary activities, regarding them as a waste of time. Too many years of preparing meals, with no idea of when my husband would be home to consume them, then clearing up. Only to repeat the whole process, day after day, convinced me that it was a pretty pointless exercise. Following DH's retirement, I had a light bulb moment, when I suddenly realised what a valuable and flexible food toast was. As you can imagine, the suggestion of warmed up bread for the main meal of the day was not appreciated. DH suddenly remembered that he did know how to cook. Since then, I have gradually managed to offload more and more responsibility for food preparation to DH. As he drives and I don't, he has also taken responsibility for the purchasing department as well, which is absolutely fine by me :)
My husband shops to a list, and meticulously date checks.
I am far more impulsive. THAT looks nice
<chucks in trolley>.
This explains why we are still eating 'Christmas food' threequarters of the way through January. Yes, chocolate coated meringues still lurk within one of the cupboards and the Christmas cake has only just been started on. I must confess these were just two of many impulse purchases of mine in December that we have yet to eat, and I don't even like fruitcake...
The downside to this is that when DH is shopping, if it isn't on the list, it doesn't get bought.
Me - We don't have any milk
DH - It wasn't on the list
Me - But we ALWAYS buy milk. It doesn't need to be on a list. It jumps in the cart on its own...
As you can see both approaches have their merits...
Our approach to cooking is also different.
He religiously follows instructions.
I don't.
He uses the timer on his phone to keep track of progress. When the timer goes off the food is served - regardless of whether it is cooked or not.
Whereas I never note what time I started cooking, get engrossed in something else, and forget all about dinner until the smoke detector is activated - announcing my failure to the neighbourhood, yet again!
As you can see both approaches have their downsides.
Back to the beef. By a miscalculation on my part, I am preparing the food to go in the slow cooker. I ponder on what to replace the red wine with - TINNED TOMS!
Just one problem. Tinned tomatoes now come in a can with a ring pull. Now I do not know what percentage of the UK cannot open tins using ring pulls. I googled and there are no stats available on this question. However, I do know that I am one of this unknown number of people, who have failed to acquire this skill. Often I end up inverting the tin and using an old-fashioned manual tin opener to access the contents. If my husband is around, I simply pass over the tin and we repeat the conversation on my inability to use ring pulls...
DH takes hold of the tin. He is sat at the dining table. An expanse of beautiful flowery tablecloth stretches out before him.
"Wouldn't you prefer to open the can on the draining board?" I enquire.
Husband makes a suitable noise of derision. After all, what could possibly go wrong?
DH applies pressure to the top of the tin, in a way that does not destroy the ring pull and opens the can. A jet of tomato juice fires up into the air, decorating DH's clean t-shirt and the surrounding area.
DH is rather surprised by this unexpected baptism of chopped tomato.
I check the date on the can.
Best before December 2015...
Fortunately, the tablecloth is of a wipe clean variety. We clear up the mess and get a fresh can of tomatoes from the cupboard.
I could tell you that I didn't laugh, but, would I lie to you?
"I think that shirt had better go in the wash..." was all I said.
DH undertook a quick date check of the food cupboard and identified another offending tin.
So far there have been no complaints about suffering from irritations post the consumption of beef-in-tom sauce - apart from the normal marital variance of opinion, so I think I have accidentally scored a culinary winner. I better return to my normal level of accidental incompetence, before DH gets the mistaken idea that I have any significant proficiency in the culinary department.
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