Crumbs!

I am not an early bird.
I am not an early bird.
I am not an early bird.
Just in case you are in any doubt...
I am not an early bird.

On Saturday morning I discovered
that I had agreed
to be up and out by
9:30am, 
in the name of bellrope shortening
and tower tidying,
just by being guilty of being a bellringer.
"It will be fine..."I told myself,
"It will be fine..."

I crawled out of bed at 8:30am.
Plenty of time...

Completed my ablutions & dressed appropriately
Plenty of time...

Went down to breakfast for my standard daily fare.
A toasted muffin.
Nothing fancy.
I just like muffins because they stay hotter longer than toast.
Having cut the muffin, I placed it carefully in the toaster,
for this was a muffin well past its prime.
Plenty of time...

The toaster lit its pretty blue light briefly,
before ejecting the muffin in disgust.
Plenty of time...

The toaster refused to stay down.
Plenty of time...

I check the switch.
"Erm I think the toaster may have died..."
DH - <sigh>  "Of course it hasn't died!" 
and comes over to show me how to use a toaster
as husbands are wont to do,
when faced with malfunctioning technology.
The toaster doesn't work for him either.
I am vindicated.
Plenty of time...

I put the grill on in the top oven,
because I still want my toasted muffin
and this is the only other way available to me,
of toasting a muffin :(
I retrieve the reduced size muffin,
from the toaster.
It is smaller than it was,
for part of it remains within the bowels of the defunct appliance,
and place it reverently on the grill pan,
which I slide into the top oven.
Plenty of time...

I try the kettle
"The kettle doesn't work."
"It's the fuse!" DH declares triumphantly,
and resets the fuse.
Now he is vindicated.
Plenty of time...

I turn off the oven.
Remove the grill pan.
Remove most of the crumbling muffin
and place it back in the toaster.
I press down the slider on the side of the toaster.
It stays down for half a second before blowing the fuse again,
ejecting what is left of my muffin in the process.
Ooops!
There was plenty of time...

I turn the grill on again,
and place the sorry remains of my muffin in the grill pan once more.
Ten minutes later the poor mangled muffin is still lily white,
though a tad windblown,
as while I had turned the grill on,
the temperature was still set to zero...
Now I am running out of time...

Eventually, the muffin changes colour and I devour what is left.
Then I remember the letter that needs to catch the post and stuff it in an envelope.
We stop en route so that the KHT can post her letter.
We are late, but the KHT does not hurry.

We arrived a few minutes after that which was scheduled,
despite originally having had plenty of time...

I give our apologies,
and explain that there was a problem with the toaster...

By evening we have a new toaster,
remarkably similar to the one it replaces,
only when tested,
it doesn't blow a fuse...