Super-gedden

And so it came to pass that
after many years of having avoided food shopping,
I returned to Morrisons
alone
to do a weekly food shop
plus shopping for a friend.
This hasn't happened for years!

I was greeted by
a queue of
r  e  g  u  l  a  r  l  y  *  s  p  a  c  e  d  *  s  h  o  p  p  e  r  s.

As we approached the entrance to the store
Morrisons had thoughtfully laid out a guard of honour
in the form of upturned trollies to welcome me
- which was a lovely, if unexpected, surprise.
So far, so good...

Once in the store, however,  it was very difficult to stay six feet away from the other shoppers.

There were:-

Grand Prix shoppers - silently revving all the time they were in the queue.
Hurtling through the doorway as soon as they get the signal to go.
Single-mindedly manoevring their trolley along the most efficient route
to obtain the list of items on their mental list,
pay
and exit.

Orderly Shoppers - who progress round the store aisle by aisle,
they probably know the layout better than the staff.

Precaution Shoppers - wearing masks and gloves.
Operating a strict twelve foot exclusion zone

Impulse Shoppers - fly in,
chuck items in trolley,
leave without half the stuff required.
Repeat.

Occasional Shoppers - haphazardly move around the store,
trying to multitask as they shop from several lists and avoid other folks.

No prizes for guessing which category I fell into.

After two tours of the shop and trying to avoid fellow shoppers
I had amassed sufficient anxiety and supplies to justify departing.

I headed for the tills.
After my adventures in Tesco I opted for the self scan...
Big mistake!
I think I managed to activate the red light about 10 times.
The scales seemed to object to everything I put on them.
I shall not be repeating the experience in a hurry!
Apologies to the woman behind me.
You chose the wrong queue!

Before

After

I spent the afternoon recuperating
from my retail nightmare,
enjoying some gardening in the sunshine.
The seasonal trim of Oliver and Olivia which commenced yesterday
was completed,
neatening up any straggly bits
missed yesterday.
I thought I heard Oliver complaining
that he could no longer keep an eye
on the neighbours quite so easily,
but it could just have been
the wind in the trees...