Shopping Subversively

Wednesday evening - before queueing became a 'thing'

Each evening,
since we entered the  'Lock Down' era,
the KHT and I have taken an evening constitutional,
wandering round the neighbourhood
visiting Poke Stops
and catching Pokemon.

On Thursday evening,
we went on an impulse trip to Tesco,
as we were getting low on milk
and fresh provisions.

Having cased the joint
the previous evening,
when we were exploring the edge
of the adjacent woodland,
I was reasonably confident
that there would not be many customers
at this time of evening.
I was going to take the granny trolley -
but I wasn't going to get much
so... I would use a basket.
What could possibly go wrong?

Before we entered the shop we both put on a pair of protective gloves
and I reminded the KHT of the need to stay at least six feet away from both customers and staff.
I also gave instructions to avoid the possibility of any objection to us both entering Tesco.
"We will enter the store separately, 
both take a basket 
and I will meet you in Health & Beauty..."
- a part of the shop she usually gravitates towards.

However there was no queue.
Result - no one gave us a second glance as we entered the store.
So far so good!
The KHT got her antihistinimine pills - branded so much dearer, but hey, she has them.

During the forage, I successfully found:

• E45 cream (DH favours this brand)
• milk - 4 pints
• sugar
• large tin of red salmon

Good foraging, but boy the basket was getting heavy!

By now it is 8pm.
All of a sudden, there is a store announcement
encouraging everyone to show their appreciation to the NHS staff
The sound of clapping fills the store.
I know the KHT is closeby,
as I recognise the sound of her enthusuastic approval...

I appear into the main aisle, just as she appears a couple of rows further down.
"Hello Mum!" she greets me waving enthusiastically with a big KHT beaming smile.
A member of staff goes by pushing a cart of laden with stock
(not toilet rolls or hand soap).
He too turns and gives me a wave and a big beaming smile, echoing the KHT's greeting
"Hello Mum!"
So much for discretion regarding not taking the family shopping...

Remembering the trials of the previous week,
in CASE I ran foul of the three item rule - AGAIN -
I asked the KHT to put some Ryvitas in her basket.
and added some Cathedral City bites to my basket,
as we are both partial to them

I browse the 'Free From' section section,  seeking items for DH.
successfully locating breakfast biscuits but not caramel rice cakes.
Some you win...

Bakery section next.
There are large gaps but sufficient stocks for me to get a loaf and some rolls.
We both prefer Morrisons bread, but we settle for what we can get.
My basket is now getting so heavy that I cannot face ANY more shopping!
and head for the tills.

As a precaution, I have to wait at the place indicated
until the previous customer has completed their transaction.
The KHT is a few tills further down.
She waves frantically at me and in a stage 'whisper' enquires:
"MUM,  ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT ME TO PAY FOR THESE!!!!"
I nod and begin to place the items I have selected on the conveyor belt.
I pack my bag. However, I have under estimated it's capacity
and it is not BIG enough to contain all I have purchased.
I then opt to carry the bread to save it from being crushed!
I briefly consider calling my husband to come and rescue us, but it is not raining.
and the KHT would be disappointed if we didn't walk...

Right on cue she appears at my till just after I have paid.
I give her the bread to fit in the top of her bag.
"I DON'T THINK THEY SUSPECTED A THING!" she hissed,
louder than I thought it possible to hiss:
"I THINK WE HAVE GOT AWAY WITH IT."
Before anyone gets too carried away with wild ideas,
I better remind you that she was refering to the purchase of the Ryvita - nothing more, nothing less

Moral - when planning anything remotely subversive with the KHT, do not suggest that it is...