Raindrops on the patio."It is raining! We can go to the tip!" I announced.
The KHT started back at college today
- how else could we celebrate?
DH reluctantly agreed.
We had already amassed a large builders bag
and pop-up bin full of non-compostible garden detritus
since returning home from holiday a couple of weeks ago.
We are blessed to have a row of large trees just beyond the boundary.
The resident wildlife fills us with great delight,
but the ensuing leaves, twigs, and acorns that end up in our garden, do not!
They must be gathered up before our garden becomes a forest.
In addition I had been tidying up the garden, trimming plants and lawn edges.
Anything not suitable for transforming into compost had been predestined for the local tip.
A couple of household items had been also been earmarked to go,
and were awaiting their departure on the drive.
By now the few raindrops had petered out and the patio was dry
but our minds were set on Operation Tip Trip.
'Bad-back' husband and 'dodgy-knee' wife
ambitiously attempted to swing a cubic metre builders bag
full of twigs and grass cutting into the boot
and nearly made it.
A good shove and the garden refuse was relucantly admitted.
Our boot longs for the day it will carry items of value,
rather than vegetation, food or holiday clutter.
We loaded up the rest and set off,
hoping that the post-lockdown tip panic would be a thing of the past.
As we turned into the road
leading to the road
leading to the tip,
we could see the queue already reached the junction.
I made a mental note that the last vehicle in the queue at this point was a red Berlingo,
full to the gunwales with what appeared to be a hedge, or rather an ex-hedge.
Cars to the left of us,
vans ahead,
other vehices behind us.
"Quick! Turn!" urged the backseat driver from the passenger seat.
Instead, DH wisely turned round in a turning on the same side of the road just past the junction.
By the time that manoeuvre was completed and we were able to join the queue
there were another three cars between us and the red Berlingo.
"We well be waiting an hour at this rate!" protested DH.
"If that's what it takes, so be it" I replied.
It was 10:59am according to Ford Mondeo time.
"I don't like being here on the corner..."
"We won't be here for long.
If you leave a gap then someone will jump the queue and we will be here even longer."
We moved away from the junction at 11:04am (Mondeo time)
I tried not to think of how many creepy crawlies could be lurking within the large builders sack and pop up bin, or consider how many could be already exploring the car...
Remember the spider....
11:08 Moved forward two car lengths ! Whooo!
11:09 Advanced three spaces - we were motoring....
I was grateful that the aroma arose from the lavendar I had trimmed,
rather than some of the rank stagnant water I had accidentally tipped into the pop-up bin behind me...
11:12 ANOTHER three spaces.
I admired the view through the passenger window
of metal railings and shubs that thrive on neglect.
11:15 - advanced just one space,
but as there was a large truck parked on the queue side of the road, we were closer to our destination than we had realised and could now see the cars actually entering the Household Refuse site.
As we approached the entrance to our surprise a car ahead does not enter the tip,
instead they continue along the road - leaving us pondering why they didn't turn round.
We can only assume that they didn't know that everyone else was queueing for the tip...
Maybe they were unaware that there was a parallel road just a few hundred yards away -
' at the end of the block' as the KHT would say...
11:21 and we were next in line.
We have a ringside view of a family outing
- Mum is on her phone, chatting animatedly
whilst Dad and grown-up Daughter do the work.
Daughter looks vague, more of a tip virgin than veteran
and has to assess each item to decide which skip wins the prize.
Mum finally puts her phone down, literally.
I hope it didn't end up in a skip...
They depart, we take their place.
Unlike high street shops and banks
there is no automated system
to announce that the next position was available.
We hoped for a space next to 'garden waste'.
We get 'wood recycling'.
It could be worse we could have got 'paper',
which would have meant lugging everything across the central roadway.
With some difficulty we extracted the builders sack from the boot.
I took hold of two handles and tried to lift my side.
DH had other ideas and decided to drag the cubic meter builders bag across to the relevant skip.
I didn't argue, but offered up a silent prayer for preservation of the bottom of the bag...
and that we were were not destined to spend the rest of the day clearing up the resulting mess - throwing each leaf and stick and blade of grass into the skip.
One by one.
Upon reaching the side of the green waste section DH turned round to see me trailing in his wake.
"I thought you were lifting the other side...?"
I smiled sweetly.
The speed that bag moved over the block paving
I would have been more of a hinderance than a help.
With some difficulty we hauled the cumbersome load up to the edge of the designated skip
and started to drop the contents in the designated area.
"Don't let go!" I joked.
"Don't let go!" said the voice of someone the other side of the skip, also disposing of garden waste.
We looked across and saw our eldest, who had been trimming the substantial hedges around their home.
We laughed.
"Of course! The red Berlingo!
We would have been immediately behind you if your Dad had been able to pull across the road."
The old hairdryer is about to be disposed of!"
"NOT the old hair dryer! Not the really old hairdryer!?"
"That's the one. It still works, but I wouldn't dare use it."
The sun appeared it was 11:24.
We leave.
The queue stretches to the corner - just as far as when we arrived.
There is nothing new...
We arrive home just after 11:30 am.
"Allowing for putting the stuff in the car that makes 45 mins max"
The KHT returned from her first day back at college, full of news.
Later she enquired.
"So how was your day?"
I revealed the photographic evidence.
"Oooh! You went to the tip!"
We know how to have a good time...


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