Gateway to Gracious Grovelling by G R Ovel

Monday was a beautiful day, everyone else was busy, so I had time to watch the daffodils growing in the garden.
DH appeared from time to time, mainly for sustenance between engagements, in the frantic activity of retirement.

Bolognese-free scarf - go me!

With a manic few days ahead I enjoyed just 'being'. There was nowhere I needed to go, so I spent the morning preparing for the after school club on Tuesday and catching up with the laundry. Why do we attempt to catch up with things? It is impossible!
As soon as the laundry bin is empty, an item of clothing will be put in it.
As soon as the carpet is vacuumed, dust will settle on it.
As soon as the table is wiped, crumbs will drop on it.
It is all important, but rather like a never-ending race.
As soon as you complete one stage, you realise that there is another one ahead...and another...and another...

In the afternoon I went out in the garden and planted aubretia in the rockery and white foxgloves in the back and side borders. DH planted foxglove seeds in the autumn. One packet produces a lot of plants. The ones planted in the autumn look far greener than the ones that overwintered in flower pots. It will be interesting to see how much difference there is in their flowering time.

DH had dropped the KHT off, and I was just finishing off the dinner when I noticed a missed call and message on my phone.
"We just wondered if you were coming to the meeting at 5:30pm..."
Rats! I had that meeting down for tomorrow!  On the plus side, that does make tomorrow less complicated! I email grovelling apologies. They are a great team, I would have liked to have been at the meeting, but no-one is indispensable, not even the Chair.

Like many other people, I am very good at beating myself up.
"Did I really say that?"
"Why did I do that?"
"How could I NOT have done...?"
"Can I just hibernate, and never have to meet anyone ever again?"
Unusually for me, I did not feel hugely stressed that I missed a meeting. Disappointed with myself, yes, because it was my error. I wrote the date down incorrectly. It is the following meeting that is on a Tuesday, because of the Bank Holiday, not this one. However, I also felt at peace.

I have a friend who was very good at putting people at ease when things when wrong. X wasn't afraid to admit when it was their fault, even when it wasn't. They did this not through false and insincere humility, but from a genuine desire to make difficult situations, better, and in doing so fostered a culture where apologising was regarded as a strength, not a weakness. When a problem arose, my friend didn't try and ignore it. Instead, they acknowledged whatever the issue was and then took responsibility. We have become afraid of mistakes, treating them like a red-hot potato. Seeking to give them away at the earliest opportunity, and into the possession of anyone else - regardless of whether or not they are to blame. It is as if accepting responsibility labels us as a failure and stigmatises us. In a futile attempt to counter this we insist on justifying all our actions, making it perfectly clear that we could not possibly be responsible. There is always a reason why we have acted in a particular way. We have a tendency to try and pin the blame on any other donkey in the vicinity.

The only person I can change is myself. Therefore I am going to attempt to accept responsibility graciously.  This may last beyond tomorrow breakfast time - who knows!  If it works it could become my new ministry. Book contracts and speaking tours lie ahead...
I can see the book titles already...
Anointed Acceptance by Daff E Doormatt
Mission through Mishaps by Miss D.F. O'dill
Gateway to Gracious Grovelling by G R Ovel
Apologetic Apologies by A. Flower
Dangerous Disciple by Daff E. Dill
Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word by Daffyd Dill

I am almost afraid to google these in case they actually exist!

Mind you, with my indiscriminate abuse of the rules of grammar, I better get a ghostwriter. No-one will see that coming - ghosts are, after all, invisible ;)